Barungu Nyawira
Homosexuality exists across cultures and even throughout the animal kingdom. Many of those identifying with being attracted to people of the same sex receive everything but support and love.
We all know that being gay is normal. What we don’t know is; what, specifically, causes someone to become gay, straight or something in between? The debate is inevitable and so is the whole ‘being gay is a choice’ accusation. Why would one choose to be gay, to ride on the side that no one likes or supports? What’s the rationale behind it? Why would one choose homosexuality, like you’d choose a new car or tattoo? I’m not sure how people think homosexuality works or how one ends up being gay, but one thing is certain; it is not choice.
We give reasons based on religious beliefs(the Abrahamic tradition), the things we consider moral or just by the feeling of, ‘I don’t like it.’ One of the most consistent environmental explanations for gayism is called the fraternal birth order effect. Male fetuses carry male-specific proteins in their Y chromosome– H-Y Antigens. Some of these promote the development of heterosexual orientation in males. The H-Y Antigens are absent in the mother’s body (they trigger production of maternal antibodies) These antibodies bind the H-Y Antigens and prevent them from functioning. This phenomenon grows stronger with each boy a woman bears. Essentially, the more older brothers a man has, the more likely he will be gay.
We all are blast in our opinions because we’re either heterosexual or homosexual, those in between too . At days end, who a person loves isn’t something they choose. One can’t force a gay man to like girls, or a lesbian to like boys.
I like to think that being able to love and care for another as much as you do you is what really matters, what should matter. The commandment is love; why not practise it minus all the prejudice and judging? Love is a miracle.
Category: Sex
Is the time right?
Barungu Nyawira
Chttps://www.surveymonkey.com/results/SM-XTKHS969V
Common is the question of when it’s the right time to have sex.
Should teenagers have sex?
One would answer that a no. It’s normal for teens to have strong sexual feelings, but it doesn’t mean you have to act on them, but of course, as my generation did, they will. Make sure they’re educated and responsible about it.
Contrary to belief though, teens who engage in sex seem to have a marked improvement in mood and reduced feelings of stress and anger after sex. These people tend to have a life with less mistakes and better sexual relationships in their early adulthood than their peers.
My lover?
Sex is like money, more you have it, more you need it. In a relationship, sex is associated with stability because it increases bonding,especially when each others desires are fulfilled. It makes you feel valued and worthy. You feel beautiful, and this could be a necessary factor in determining whether you’re ever wedding them.
Wait till I’m married?
Waiting till you’re married to have sex is a valid and commendable choice. Sex was created sacred for two individuals bound in marriage. It advocates for the practice of celibacy in relationships. Waiting has it’s good; it honours God, it saves you from transmission of STIs and ensures no accidental pregnancies.
Whenever I’m ready?
One can have sex with their lover, and I advocate for waiting will marriage. More than anything though, you want to feel ready. But what does that mean?
Some people know and others take a lot of time. The time is right when it aligns with your personal values, life goals, emotional and physical needs. Trust for your partner should have developed; having the right partner is key. Without deep sexual desire, you’re less sure you’re acting on your own actual agency and you may be less likely to have a good experience.
Sex is not one of the things we should be doing for anyone but ourselves. There is no real reason to hasten to have sexual experience if you can’t optimize it by feeling ready, trusting, informed and acting from a real space of choice.
Based on a survey I conducted from the 20th-23rd of Nov 2018, the greater majority of the respondents were for the idea of whenever one feels read at 57.89%, followed by those the day idea of waiting till marriage with 23.68%, those advocating for lovers were 13.16%, and least was the number of people giving a yes for teens at 5.26%.
My sex partner
Barungu Nyawira
Looking at the person lying next to you in sweat pools, you realize that quite too often do we forget to ask or rather know the ‘who’ in our sexual relations.
One of the most amazing things about the human mind is that it remembers. We have memories of feel and emotion; the pain, ache, we remember how betrayal feels, delight, happiness, name them all. Some things we forget, but of sex, it’s attributes and the partner, we don’t. It’s like a small part of them stays with us, stuck to memory. So, who am I having sex with? Should I be?
Lover or spouse only?
This is sexual exclusivity, where one decides to only have one sexual partner, mostly lovers and spouses. Its basis are cultural values and mutual expectations. It should be established on the bed of mutual content, after safe negotiations if necessary. It is mostly a decision made to guarantee prevention of contraction and transmission of HIV and STIs.
My Friend?
Whether to have or not to have sex with your friend(s) is an entirely personal decision. Some adopt and others refute the idea, all with different reasons. Can you handle having sex with the label behind it being, ‘Friends?’
When you have sex with your friend, there are chances it goes deep and one or both of you want a relationship. If it’s consensual, it’s all good and you’ll not have to worry about commitment and all.
One will perceive it as not only being okay, but as the most comfortable thing since you know this other person. It is good to establish a friendly relation with the person (s) you engage with sexually. This could be friends-with-benefits(FWB) relationships or some just casual friendships with which you’re totally fine. You wouldn’t want to spend a whole weekend at a cabin in the woods, but two hours for just sex is perfect.
No, I can’t sleep with my friend!
At the beginning, it sounds and is great but it could turn ugly. After sleeping with your friend, feelings spike, 80% of the times. Why have sex with my friend and risk having the friendship go downhill afterwards?
Another thinks of it as highly immoral. Freedom to do whatever one pleases is important, but it is about being a decent moral human being. We love friends, but sex should be used as a way to share intimacy when people are considered to be in a relationship.
The total stranger?
The world has evolved, where a lot of things are accepted. Choosing a total stranger is not something everyone can do. It probably takes a certain type of people.
Mostly it is the factor of ‘physical safety’ that drives some of us away from the idea. You’ll find that to sleep with strangers, it takes being a man, a feminist or a total out of the blues thought. It could be the mere fact of ‘not sober’ lol!
A larger number of men will easily say yes to sex with a stranger, unlike women, who will take flight at the thought. Men of high physical attractiveness are mostly successful in pursuing a short-term sexual strategy (Physical attractiveness fulfils the women’s evolved preferential short-term mating desires)
Well, nothing makes you feel mature and sophisticated like a one night stand. Think about it; alcohol, spontaneous sex, maybe drugs, bad judgements, possible regrets with a pinch of anxiety about what STI you may have contracted, pregnancy scares –it’s everything our parents promised. People envision a steamy montage of naked bodies ending with double hangovers and a missing kidney. I’m telling you it’s a myth! What if some meaningless sex with a stranger is what you needed to get that renewal of soul, to set it all right?
Sexually Transmitted Infections
Barungu Nyawira
Host: Hello people, thus is Barungu Nyawira with Healthcoach254. Today we are going to talk about STIs and the most popular HIV and we are privileged to have an expert, Doctor Marianna, who’s going to tell us all we need to know about the STIs, transmission, symptoms and the treatments for the same.
Host: Doctor Marianna, hello?
Dr. Marianna: Hi people, my name is Dr. Marianna like she said, and we’re going to talk about STIs and HIV. I hope it will be productive for all of us.
Host: Yeah! Could you tell us what you understand by STIs and how they are transmitted?
Dr. Marianna: STIs are Sexually Transmitted Infections or STDs, which is Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Uuh, they are transmitted sexually of course, either oral sex, vaginal and anal sex.
Host: What are the causative agents?
Dr. Marianna: This diseases or infections rather are usually caused by either bacteria, parasites or viruses.
Host: Mmh, and could you please elaborate on the relation between STDs and HIV?
Dr. Marianna: Uhm, STDs, yes, they are all sexually transmitted. Uuh, these STIs, if let untreated may bring sores in your reproductive parts and this sores heighten the chances of getting HIV, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. And HIV itself is a STD.
Host: Mm-mh! Dr. Marianna, tell us about the treatment.
Dr. Marianna: These STIs are treated differently because it depends with their causative agents. For example, bacteria and parasites can be cured by antibiotics but the virus one, uuh, it incurable yes, for lack of a better word. The treatments that are offered can suppress the symptoms and it makes you live a longer and healthy life. Another thing you should know is to seek medical advice in time because things like HIV —it morphs in stages, so the more you stay, the more severe the infection becomes or the virus becomes too harsh and the antiretrovirals may not work because it’s in a later stage. If you go early; the incubation stage, it can be suppressed. Not cured but suppressed.
Host: And how often do you treat this cases, like on a daily basis?
Dr. Marianna: Uuh, on a normal day, I see about five to six patients and a three quarters are female because their body is very sensitive and for ladies, it’s faster to know if there’s something wrong and the other quarter are male patients.
Host: Mmh-mh!
Dr. Marianna: And I’d also advice you to please seek medical assistance
Host: What’s your advise to ty masses in accordance to sexual health checkups?
Dr. Marianna: Uuh, I’ll advise you, first of all, to abstain from sex. If you are sexually active, also use condoms. There are latex condoms and the other ones are called…
Host: …the polyurethane condoms
Dr. Marianna: (Chuckling) Yes, those ones, that word is a bit difficult. Please go for frequent checkups, and if you are HIV positive, you should go for annual checkups and more often defending on your risk factors, if you know you are more venerable. Let’s also avoid alcohol before and during sex so that we, tujichunge kimaisha.
Host: (Chuckles) Thank you so much Dr. Marianna for that very educative and informative session, I’m sure the masses know what to do and what not to do about their sexual health and all it pertains. Thank you so much, that was my time, Barungu Nyawira.
Why we have sex
Barungu Nyawira
Today, sexual behaviors seem to have taken on many different psychological, social, cultural, even religious meanings. Your partner may have a dozen excuses to say, ”Not tonight Dear, I have a …,” but how many reasons can the two of you name for wanting to have sex? One? Two? Maybe Five? How about150?
From pleasure to procreation, insecurity to inquisitiveness. From sex for money to attain a better life to ties of wanting to maintain the status quo that comes with a good living — today’s reasons for taking a roll in the hay seem to vary, as much as the terms for the deed itself. It extends the list, the fact of sex for recreation, or the mere fact of idleness. It is a stark contrast from the historical assumptions, which cited only three sexual motives; to make babies, to feel good or because you’re in love.
Wired for sex?
‘We are programmed to do so.’ Asking why people engage in sexual intercourse is akin to asking why one eats. Our brains are designed to motivate us towards that behavior. The idea that humans are hard-bound to sex reflects on an evolutionary perspective, in that there’s a desire for sexual relations ‘wired in’ in order to promote species survival.
What is the motive?
Emotional reasons: Love, commitment or gratitude.
Physical reasons: Pleasure, stress relief, exercise, sexual curiosity or attraction to a person.
Goal-based reasons: To make a baby, improve social status(to feel good about oneself) or seek revenge.
Insecurity reasons: To boost self-esteem, keep a partner from seeking sex elsewhere or feeling a sense of duty or pressure(for instance, if a partner insists on having sex.)
The one of 200 reasons could be the one you as an individual engage in sexual activity, for we all seek different gratifications in the same.
Health coach 